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Short Animal Jokes (Parrots, Dogs, Cats, etc.) - The Funniest Short Jokes and One Liners |
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Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
(4.5 stars, 2 votes)
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it's hard to run in squares!
(3.5 stars, 2 votes)
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?"
(3.5 stars, 2 votes)
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
(3.5 stars, 2 votes)
Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?
The outside.
(2.0 stars, 2 votes)
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
(1.0 stars, 2 votes)
Did you hear about the duck who went into the drugstore? He told the pharmacist, "Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill
(1.0 stars, 2 votes)
Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?
To the retail store.
(4.3 stars, 3 votes)
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
(4.5 stars, 4 votes)
Never wrestle a pig; you both get dirty, and he likes it.
(2.6 stars, 5 votes)
Where do you find a no legged dog?
Right where you left him.
(4.0 stars, 6 votes)
Would a fly without wings be called a walk? (George Carlin)
(3.8 stars, 6 votes)
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
(3.5 stars, 6 votes)
Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.
(3.2 stars, 6 votes)
What Has Four Legs And An Arm?
A Happy Pit Bull.
(2.5 stars, 6 votes)
Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?
To find a tight seal.
(4.1 stars, 7 votes)
Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.
(3.6 stars, 7 votes)
What did the elephant say to the naked man? It’s cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
(2.6 stars, 7 votes)
Where do you get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.
(3.5 stars, 8 votes)
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
(3.5 stars, 8 votes)
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
(3.6 stars, 9 votes)
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
(Jon)
(3.1 stars, 10 votes)
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? (George Carlin)
(2.9 stars, 11 votes)
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