Men are like diapers: always full of shit.
(5.0 stars, 2 votes)
Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your house when they leave!
(4.5 stars, 2 votes)
Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
(4.0 stars, 2 votes)
If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings.
(3.5 stars, 2 votes)
How is a man like a snowstorm?
Because you don't know when it's coming, how many inches you'll get, and how long it'll stay.
(3.5 stars, 2 votes)
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
(3.5 stars, 2 votes)
How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
(3.5 stars, 2 votes)
What did God say after creating man?
I must be able to do better than that.
(3.5 stars, 2 votes)
Men are like fine wine: They all start out as grapes, and it is your job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd want to have with dinner.
(3.0 stars, 2 votes)
Men are like computers: Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
(3.0 stars, 2 votes)
Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.
(3.0 stars, 2 votes)
Husband: A man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping.
(3.0 stars, 2 votes)
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
(2.5 stars, 2 votes)
How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
He's breathing.
(2.5 stars, 2 votes)
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
(2.5 stars, 2 votes)
Men are like horoscopes: They always tell you what to do, and they are always wrong.
(5.0 stars, 3 votes)
Men are like parking spots: The good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.
(5.0 stars, 3 votes)
How is a man like the weather?
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
(5.0 stars, 3 votes)
What does a man consider a seven-course meal?
A hot dog and a six-pack of beer.
(5.0 stars, 3 votes)
Why is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
(5.0 stars, 3 votes)
Men are like snowstorms: You never know when they are coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last.
(4.7 stars, 3 votes)
How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts?
Guilt gifts are nicer.
(4.7 stars, 3 votes)
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the stove.
(4.7 stars, 3 votes)
What's a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
(4.7 stars, 3 votes)
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
(4.7 stars, 3 votes)
|
