Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
(0.0 stars, 0 votes)
Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
(5.0 stars, 1 votes)
I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
(5.0 stars, 1 votes)
I had an "hour glass" figure, but unfortunately the sand shifted.
(5.0 stars, 1 votes)
You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.
(5.0 stars, 1 votes)
If it wasn't for my faults, I'd be perfect.
(5.0 stars, 1 votes)
You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.
(5.0 stars, 1 votes)
The Clairvoyant Society has cancelled today's meeting due to unforeseen circumstances.
(5.0 stars, 1 votes)
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions.
(5.0 stars, 1 votes)
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
(4.0 stars, 1 votes)
May you live as long as you want to, and want to as long as you live.
(4.0 stars, 1 votes)
If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.
(4.0 stars, 1 votes)
If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
(4.0 stars, 1 votes)
Sharing is fun, unless its your own stuff.
(4.0 stars, 1 votes)
Minds are like parachutes; they only work when they are open.
(4.0 stars, 1 votes)
HELP! The paranoids are after me..
(4.0 stars, 1 votes)
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
(4.0 stars, 1 votes)
Remember: If you throw dirt, you're losing ground.
(3.0 stars, 1 votes)
I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
(3.0 stars, 1 votes)
I learned French in six easy liasons.
(3.0 stars, 1 votes)
It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
(3.0 stars, 1 votes)
Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
(3.0 stars, 1 votes)
Kiss is an application in the top floor for a job in the basement. (Dheeraj Kumar)
(2.0 stars, 1 votes)
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
(2.0 stars, 1 votes)
I get enough exercise pushing my luck.
(2.0 stars, 1 votes)
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